I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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