Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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