I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
