"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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