I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
