he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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