We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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