we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Vodka?
Forever.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
