I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
