Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
