there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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