she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
