do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
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