The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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