And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
