not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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