It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
