why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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