this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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