Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
