and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
