too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
