So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
The Olympian is in my bed
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
