she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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