Plan B is the new Plan A
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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