it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
