Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
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