the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
