Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
