what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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