I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
