Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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