it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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