Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
