you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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