Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
