dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
