I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Randomize
