Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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