return my video game
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
