I wanna bring you to show and tell
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
