Christians are straight up FREAKS
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
you made out with another girl for some wings
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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