tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
