Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I puked a lego.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
