i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
