You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Randomize
