Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
