Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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