Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
my poor anus
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
