we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize