The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
A bitchslap is in order.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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