The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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