his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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