Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
