is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
