I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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