Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
