What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
