i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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