I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
