It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
