he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
We just shotgunned beers for America
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
